Special Needs Children
24th May 2006
I received a post from Melissa Henkel recently that read:-
“I am adopting a special needs child. She is 11 years old and currently in a residential facility. She came from a horrible background of neglect and abuse. She had to care for other children in the home because her mother was a nonfunctional alcoholic. The mother willingly released her rights a year ago. How do I teach this child not to lie and steel?”
I’m a believer in resilience in young children. I do know that many children just do not have the opportunity, but the fact is that the world itself is unfair. The most important thing is to maintain a balanced view on as much as possible. While I can empathize with the child, she doesn’t really need our sympathy.
As much as her world is terrible, the way we perceive it on her behalf might just make it worse. Instead of focusing on what not to do like not lying or not stealing, how about focusing on what we must do, like raising a child with high moral integrity, passion, compassion and all the great stuff that life offers us?
Perhaps gratitude is also a kind of learning you need to impart. How exactly to do that, you may ask? I think it’s all in the relationship you have with your child. The way you communicate, the way you interact, the way you model the path for them. I’ve found that children either grow to be exactly like us, or grow to dislike us.
Either way, they are learning to stand on their own two feet. Just because there is a difference in opinion doesn’t mean they don’t love us. I’m certain with love and communication and empathy, you can shine the light for your child, and bring to her the gift of life that was always meant to be.