>

From:- babytime.blogware.com

Bringing up children is an intricate work.

In the vast informational sources regarding parenting, you can easily discover solutions for almost any problem or issue you encounter. Every child is different, and every parent is different. Because of this, there are no comprehensive resolutions that will work for everyone. I suggest that you review all the solutions you discover and take a few quiet minutes to think about them. Modify the suggestions to best suit your family, and don’t be afraid to try out more than one until you discover your best answer.

Remember that following a few important rules will make every situation with your child easier to handle, regardless of which solution you choose to implement. These are called - The Perfect Parenting Keys.

Know how to Control your Kids

Make your child / children understand that they must obey you and you are right counsel for them in all major and minor walks of life. The first step to taking charge is simply to give yourself permission to be in charge, and start expecting your children to obey you. With this firm basis you will construct an affectionate, credulous bond with your children. And, probably more significantly, you will be able to guide your children into maturity with good principles, ethics, wisdom and life skills that only a strong, encouraging and compassionate parent can pass on.

Guide your kids accuraltely:

While you impart values to your kids and tell him / her to do something (or stop doing something) make a unambiguous, precise statement that leaves no scope for misunderstanding.

A common error parents commit is asking children instead of telling. At this stage children can not differentiate between right and wrong. So, by hook or crook, make the children follow the appropriate course of action. The manner in which you utter your words establishes whether your kids view your call as voluntary or necessary. Throw out all feeble expressions from your terminology, especially while dealing with children.

For more information visitinvitationbox.com

About the Author

None

>

Watching a young girl hit, kick, and call her mother names I never imagined a 6 year old knew, engaged in an (ultimately successful) attempt to get dessert led to an enlightening luncheon conversation with a few friends last week. As parents ourselves, we had all dealt with incidents like this and had different opinions on how the mother should have handled the outbreak. As we talked, it turns out we represented the three most common parenting styles identified during the last 30 years of psychological research. What seems to matter the most is the level of parental demandingness and parents being responsive to their children’s changing needs.

One end of our table clearly represented the Authoritarian parenting style, parents with clearly defined rules that they expected their children to follow without questioning or even discussion. Known as the really strict parents, authoritarian parents hold high expectations for their children and believe that parents are, and should be, in complete control. According to Diane Baumrind (1996), who developed the original parenting style categories, these parents “shape, control and evaluate the behavior and attitudes of the child in accordance with a set of standards of conduct, usually an absolute standard . . . [which] values obedience as a virtue and favors punitive, forceful measures to curb self-will” (p. 890).

At the other end of the parenting continuum, exhibited by the young girl’s mother as well as a friend at the other end of the table, are Permissive parents. Such parents place few, if any demands on their children, allowing children “complete freedom to make life decisions without referring to parents for advice . . .” (Hickman, Bartholomae, & McKenry, 2000, p. 42). Permissive parents allow the “child to regulate his own activities as much as possible, avoid the exercise of control” (Baumrind, 1966, p. 889), often those parents who view themselves as their children’s friends or peers more than the parent-child relationship.

Sitting in the middle of the table were the Authoritative or Democratic parents, who are an integration of the other two parenting styles, setting clear rules and expectations but also encouraging discussion and give-and-take, especially as their children get older and are able to take more responsibility for themselves. Such parents “remain receptive to the child’s views but take responsibility for firmly guiding the child’s actions, emphasizing reasoning, communication, and rational discussion in interactions that are friendly as well as tutorial and disciplinary” (Baumrind, 1996, p. 410).

No surprise that there are big differences in the ways we approach parenting - our culture, the situations in our lives, and even the way our parents raised us influence what we think is the right way to parent. What is surprising are the consistent findings about how these different styles of parenting impact our children’s development. The way you parent can influence how your children do in school, relate to others, and whether or not they develop the personal strengths which help our children to thrive and be able to best deal with life’s stresses.

Having spent years studying parenting and resiliency, research shows that children raised by Democratic parents have higher self-esteem, do better in school, relate better to their peers in large part because they had greater self-confidence and self control. On the other hand, families with Authoritarian or Permissive parenting tend to have children who do less well in school, have lower self-efficacy, less self-control, and lower self-esteem, placing these children more at risk when dealing with life’s adversities.

So what about the woman and young girl who wanted ice cream even though she didn’t eat her lunch? What lessons might she have learned during this encounter? Instead of learning self-control, patience, and the important lesson that there are consequences to our actions, she may have learned that she can get whatever she wants by being aggressive. She’s also learned that her mother will not enforce rules of what is appropriate behavior, even though a six-year old isn’t able to always make such a decision. Imagine the impact of this when she’s with her friends or as she enters the teenage years or beyond.

Being a parent is one of the most difficult jobs in the world, in part because the demands of parenting change as our children grow. What may have worked with toddlers is not necessarily the best way to approach it when our children are growing, becoming more independent. As the research shows a parenting style which balances parents’ expectations and guidance while allowing the child to have more input can be the best for helping our children grow into successful, resilient adults. And isn’t that what parenting is all about?

Baumrind, D. (1966). Effects of authoritative parental control on children. Child Development, 37 (2), 887 - 907.

Baumrind, D. (1996). The discipline controversy revisited. Family Relations, 45 (4).

Hickman, G.P., Bartholomae, S. & McKenry, P.C. (2000) Influence of parenting styles on the adjustment and academic achievement of traditional college freshman. Journal of College Student Development, 41, 41 - 52.

About the Author

This is the first of 3 articles presenting this author’s extensive research on families and resiliency. As the founder of Family Transitions Coaching, Ellen Neiley Ritter, Ph.D. is committed to increasing resiliency for her clients and their families. Sign up to receive the next two articles in the series or sign up for a complimentary coaching session to see whether coaching can help you deal with your family issues at www.familytransitionscoaching.com

The pyramid-shaped Grip and Grab Rattle is made of sturdy, safety-tested plastic tubes in bright colors that are connected by clear plastic spheres. Each sphere contains a red bead, smaller beads move freely through the tubes when the rattle is shaken. So what’s the big deal? You’ll have to ask a baby. For some reason, they love this thing–won’t put it down. They’ll go to sleep to the sound of it being gently shaken in front of them, or will miraculously be distracted from the car-seat fussies. (Mini van dealers should include the Grip and Grab as a standard feature).

This Lamaze rattle also provides learning opportunities for babies, almost from birth. The tubes are about the diameter of an adult finger–perfect for grabbing with tiny hands, and later, for chomping with tiny gums and teeth. Early lessons in cause and effect and hand- eye coordination are taught when baby moves and the rattle shakes. Included in the packaging is a booklet about infant development and creative ideas on how to use the toy, as well as a U.S. lifetime warranty. Winner of several national awards, including a National Parenting Center Seal of Approval and a National Parenting Publications Honors Award. –Katherine Ferguson
Customer Review: Easy for little hands
My son loved this toy. I bought it based on the prior reviews and awards and am glad I did. It was t…
Customer Review: Fun Fun Fun
I read the reviews for this rattle and decided to give it a try. I am so glad I did. My son and his … Buy Now!

Are you feeling overwhelmed being a parent? Do you want to feel more relaxed and empowered raising your child? Working parents, stay-at-home parents, visiting parents ? it doesn?t matter which one you are because these days almost every parent feels overwhelmed by their daily day. Parents every day experience anxiety, stress and despondency because they feel as if they are losing control of their natural balance. The natural balance that once allowed them to walk, talk and chew gum slowly - all at one time! Now you are running to work, picking up children, grocery shopping, doing laundry, paying bills, taking your child to some lesson, etc. Those days when you had control over your life, can be re-lived again by knowing how to create a structured life that incorporates extra time, a swing to your step and the ability to believe that you can accomplish what needs to be done, in addition to being a fun and caring parent. Below are five tips that can start you on the path of feeling a positive glow about yourself.

>

PARENTING 20-SOMETHING KIDS….STILL? So what’s with parenting 20-something kids? Aren’t we through with our parenting duties by then? Most young adults in their twenties are in college, in the military or working somewhere. Our job as parents is pretty much over, isn’t it? Many people think it is, but the truth remains, we are still mom and dad, still employed with a job to do. The time between teen-age and adulthood are transition years for them, as well as for us. The biggest change is now in our job description. What we used to do as parents of teen- agers no longer works for parents of young adults. Our communication, the way we relate and speak to them, the ways we love them, even how much we give them must be adjusted. If you think about it, really, we wouldn’t want it any other way. We want our children to become independent, responsible adults. We want them to be able to make decisions, to stand on their own, to work through tough choices. If we have done our jobs well up until this point, we can relax, breathe a sigh of relief. Our kids are well on their way to becoming positive additions to society. For years around our house, the familiar phrase was “we’ve got to save for college.” With every monetary gift received, a portion had to “save for college.” In elementary school, the push was on for the gifted program or higher math because it would serve our kids better when preparing for college. College, college, college. That became the milestone. The belief was that once that hurdle was achieved, we would be home free. Our worries would be over. Our kids would be “done,” safely arrived on the world scene. This pseudo milestone is just that-one conjured up by our culture. Of course, it IS a huge accomplishment but it’s not a measure of whether our child still needs us. Often, the hardest years are those during and right out of college. Graduates wonder, “what now?” They have no clue what to do with their English or psychology degree. They need guidance. They need reassurance, encouragement and our optimism. So you see, we’re not done as parents at all. That idea that we can disappear is nothing more than a myth. What is different is the way we parent. No longer can we give unsolicited advice and expect a positive response. No “Ok Johnny, get your hair cut, buy a new suit, and then send in your resume to this company.” All those things may need to be done, to be sure, but our methods of bossy telling, giving advice and instructing are no longer effective with a grown person. Seriously, do you like it when someone tells you what to do? No, of course not. Our style of communication needs to shift. How? We can gently ask questions like, “Son, what are you going to do next in your job search?” Or, you might say, “I think your idea to buy a new suit is a good one. If you’d like me to go along, let me know.” Suggesting and affirming are much more effective methods than a straight out “here’s how to do it.” What about the kid who decides college isn’t for him after all the years of preparation? After all your planning and saving? You know he has the capability. He just doesn’t want to go. Instead, he wants to travel around the country or the world to “find” himself. Or, what if your daughter wants to get married right after high school graduation and your hopes for her are dashed? Many parents find their goals for their kids, like a hall runner, have been pulled out from underneath them. They are frustrated, disappointed and often angry. This wasn’t what they had in mind! What do you do with that disappointment? The first thing not to do is take it out on your adult kids. It’s time, Mom and Dad, to acknowledge that your hopes and dreams may not be theirs. It’s a hard thing to swallow and I think at some point every parent has to face this reality. Our hopes and expectations are just that- ours. Expectations are merely another form of control. In our minds, we reason that to be done right, it should be done this way, that’s all there is to it. Voila! An expectation is born. The key question to ask during the transition years of the early 20’s is this: “Will these words or this action promote a healthier relationship with my adult child? If we ask that question honestly whenever we are in doubt, I think we will learn which way to act. During the teens, we helped our kids a lot. They depended on us for everything still. Even if they had jobs, they still lived at home, ate our food, drove our car, and watched our TV. To help them become independent, we need to begin doing less and let them do more for themselves. Some parents argue their kids can’t afford to help out, or they don’t have the time to help with chores, or whatever. If their adult kids live at home, they should pay rent, help out with the food, and pay for gas if they borrow the car. No longer should life be a free ride. Part of becoming a responsible citizen is learning to accept personal obligations. Maybe part of the lesson they learn is that the profession or job they have chosen will not provide enough for them to support themselves and they need to make changes. They’ll never learn that lesson if we continue to provide a safety net. Another aspect of these transitional years is balance. Balance not only for our kids’ sakes but for ours. New communication techniques can be vital. Some parents acknowledge saying “no” to their kids is tough. How do you all of a sudden start saying, “no, you can’t borrow the RV or the boat” or “no, I cannot baby-sit again this weekend?” It’s simple. An honest explanation is all that is needed. “We are planning to keep this RV as our retirement getaway and we are limiting its use so that it isn’t worn out in three years.” Or, “I’m sorry I can’t sit this weekend. We made plans to have friends visit for the weekend.” It’s all in the way we say no. It has been suggested that when we say no to a request to borrow money, that we try and do something else to show we care. For example, you might invite your child and spouse to dinner and movie on you. Or you take them for ice cream, something to show you are there for them, you are just not going to bail them out. What do you do if you and your husband disagree about an issue regarding your young adult? It’s important to keep a united front. Tell your child that you will get back to them after you have discussed it with your spouse. When discussing it, if you can’t agree together, then bow out. If compromise isn’t coming, then agree not to go one way or the other. Don’t admit to your child you don’t agree. Simply say you will have to decline to help. It’s vital for our adult kids to see us as parents happy together, working on our relationship, building, looking to our future retirement. The fact that you “have a life” is an important example for them. Even if you are a single parent, our kids need to observe us and how we handle the storms of life. We are still role models, and our actions still teach and make an impression on our kids, even if they are adults. My daughter, now 30 and married, recently thanked me for being a good parent. In her work as a therapist she sees many severely dysfunctional families. It made me feel validated and it reinforced my belief that less is more when our kids are grown. There’s something about maintaining space that lets a person see what’s truly there. When I moved away from home as a young adult, ready to take on the world, it didn’t take long for me to realize that my parents were pretty savvy people after all. I began to appreciate them over the 500 miles of distance between us. It was my first real step in becoming an adult. So parents, if you have 20-something young adults, get rid of the idea that your parenting job is done. You’re not off the hook, not yet. Remember we’re merely in a transitional phase. The day is coming when they will be completely independent, responsible and personally accountable for their lives. And when that day comes, if we’ve done our job well, we can enjoy the satisfaction of a deep and lasting friendship with our child-a worthy goal indeed.

About the Author

Martha Pope Gorris, writer and speaker,is the mom of two adult kids. She saw the need for a change in tactics when their relationship became strained. After interviewing many parents, she wrote the book, Parenting 20-Something Kids:Recognizing Your Role as They Find Their Way=>www.MarthaPopeGorris.com

Have you ever noticed that everything is a battle with your child? If it is, then one of three things is happening. Your child, you or both are in a competitive need cycle. What is a competitive need cycle?

As humans, we are all born with five basic needs that we are genetically programmed to attempt to meet. They are survival, love & belonging, power, freedom and fun. Without getting into the detail of the developmental model described in Nancy Buck?s book, Peaceful Parenting, power and freedom combine to make the competitive need cycle.

Customer Review: Disappointed to Thrilled
I bought this for my grand daughter’s 4th birthday and was so disappointed at the look on her face w…
Customer Review: Fun for all the kids
We purchased this game for my just-turned 5-year-old. He loves to play both levels. His almost 4-yea… Buy Now!

>

Everyone has tips for new parents but nor everyone knows what is best for that families situation. Some parents try to get help from an outside source like some of the agencies that are out there to help out others. The only problem is that some of them that are giving out the advice have no children of their own.

Some people that are asked advice should really not be giving tips because their tips may have not worked in their own family. So why do they think it would work in someone else’s? Or it could be the opposite of where it worked in theirs but not in another family. It makes it hard to get or give parenting tips because every situation is different.

The best tips that have been heard so far is that you do not have to explain yourself to your kids. Another one would be do not get into yelling battles with your kids because neither of you will get anywhere with it and do not give in to them about what you say needs done and what they feel that they need to know what will happen if it does get done in a timely matter.

No matter how you would go about it you need to hold your ground in what you believe is the right way. Don’t let others control what you say needs to be done and how it needs to be done. Plus you need to stick with what you say will be the consequences if something is not done to you satisfaction.

Just like if you say that they are not allowed to go somewhere or do something you would need to stick to what you say or they will walk all over you. And you may be able to give a little when things are done to your satisfaction and beyond with out asking to be done. One thing you could do is give an allowance if they do the work without being asked and if they do more than asked then give a little extra. Most of all just sit down and let the kids know what you want them to do for you.

About the Author

For information on better parenting and how you can communicate with your children, please check out:

http://www.parenting-tips-online.info

>

Copyright 2006 Paul Arinaga

It’s fun to read child stories to your kids, but it’s even MORE fun to make up your own. You don’t need to be a creative genius to do so. All it takes is a little imagination and patience (with yourself). Follow these 10 suggestions, and you’ll find that making up entertaining child stories is as easy as talking with a good friend.

1. A Picture’s Worth a Thousand Words

Select a picture or series of pictures from a magazine, book, newspaper or wherever. Then describe what’s happening in the picture or pictures.

2. Truth is Stranger than Fiction

Draw in events from your everyday life and then embellish them. For example, instead of “Jason played in the basketball game last Saturday,” you could say “when Jason played in the basketball game last Saturday, he put on his magic shoes and scored 50 points!”

3. Look at the Larger World

Choose a story from the newspaper (nothing too heavy) and make up a story around it. You can personalize the news this way so that your child sees that real people are behind the events. This has the added benefit of being highly educational.

Just to prove that this can be done with even a “dry” topic, here’s a headline from The Financial Times (the British business daily): “Crop Resistance - Why a Transatlantic Split Persists Over Genetically Modified Food.” Depending upon your political views on this issue, you could make up a story that London is threatened by gigantic ears of corn, that soybeans morph into aliens or that wonderful new species of flora and fauna evolve in a genetically modified jungle that springs up outside New Orleans.

4. Get Back to Nature

Nature is a rich source of ideas. You can make up a story about the animal kingdom (e.g. an ant colony). You might imagine what it would be like to become an ant and see the world from that perspective. Or you could make up a story about the elements. Did you know that each element has a concept associated with it? Air = Thought, Fire = Desire, Water = Emotions, Earth = Stability. The universe or astronomy (sun, moon, planets, stars, etc.) is another possible source of inspiration.

5. Help from Your Hobbies

Why not make up a story centered around one of your hobbies? If you’re an avid golfer, a story could be about how you got your golf ball back from a talking alligator in Florida.

6. Famous People

You could make up a story about a famous person (either deceased or still living) such as Jesus Christ, Alexander the Great or Justin Timberlake (might be best to try to stick roughly to known facts).

7. Choose a Time Period

It’s always exciting to go back in time and imagine how people lived. This can be educational, too. You could make up a story about a Viking boy who becomes a great warrior and philosopher king.

8. Bring them to Life

What if all the objects in your life suddenly SPRANG TO LIFE? What would your car say? What would your TV do?

9. Borrow

If you’re really “stuck”, you can always borrow (but don’t steal) ideas from other people’s stories or get inspiration from folktales, parables, legend or myth. Just put your own ideas and names into the stories to personalize them. For example, you could take the Greek “Myth of Icarus” and update it for the 21st century. Instead of wings make from feathers and wax, Icarus has a solar-powered, artificial exoskeleton made from composite materials. With his hi-tech exoskeleton, he’s actually able to land on the sun, but then he gets so hot that he plunges back to earth, drinks up half of Lake Ontario, and gets a terrible tummy ache.

10. Let Your Kids Tell YOU a Story

Kids are often more creative than adults, probably because they don’t engage in self-censorship as much. They’re not embarrassed to let their imaginations run wild! So, you could have your kids make up stories, too. They’ll love getting involved and having the chance to express themselves.

You can combine any of the tips here with that approach. With tip #1, for example, you could take turns describing what’s happening in a picture. It’s fun to see how different people interpret a picture differently.

Another approach that I use with my own kids is the “story round robin”. We take turns telling a single story, passing it on from one person to the next. The plot can get very intricate, indeed!

Conclusion

These are just a few ways you can get inspired to make up child stories. I’m sure you’ll think of more. Above all, I hope you’ll have a lot of fun with your storytelling!

P.S. If you record or write down any of your stories, you can send them to me and I’ll publish them on my website with your name (and copyright) on them.

P.P.S. Here is a very interesting website that I discovered (not affiliated with me in any way) about the elements, astrology, dragons, etc.: http://www.orderofthewhitelion.com/. You’ll find this a rich source of ideas.

About the Author

Paul Arinaga is founder of the Child Stories Bank. http://www.child-stories-bank.com The Child Stories Bank provides FREE original children’s stories as well as resources to help writers create and get their stories published, and a directory of child storybook illustrators.

‘The gift of good parenting is raising a child without shame’ MINIATURE Sticker. Width: 5.25 inches, Height: 1 inches. Stickers are printed on high quality Starliner Premier Polypro water proof paper and adhere with adhesive to your motorcycle helmet, notebook, locker, or other surface appropriate for a miniature sticker. Buy Now!