A recent BBC news revealed that Teenagers in the UK are struggling to cope with life.

More British teenagers leave school with good qualifications and go to university than ever before.

Youth unemployment has fallen dramatically in the last 25 years.

Today’s parents are richer than ever before and young people have access to an extraordinary range of activities and opportunities undreamt of even a generation ago.

And yet the mental well-being of our adolescents is among the worst in Europe: one in 10 teenage girls has self-harmed. Child obesity is increasing.

I’ve been constantly posed this question about children. As parents, when do we let them make a decision, and when do we make it for them against their better judgement? Do we make them do things, or are we afraid that they won’t like it?

My take is this. If you are to have to put your foot down, it must be done because in your judgement, it is the right thing to do. However, there are some mental models in the world today that are unique from your time. So effective communication is best.

I managed to surf the web for some information about what some teens think of their parents. This one comes from, as far as I can tell, a very hard working guy who does not have very knowledgable parents.

I’ve noticed that a number of teens are starting to grow on the fashion trend, that they have to do something to themselves to make them look good. I mean, if it’s just a fashion trend, that’s fine, but some people just go the extra mile to look good. If they are extremely concerned with good looks, they might be missing the point.

One of the most imporant parts of parenting communication is for you to understand the undertones of your message. There are two forms of communication, overt and covert. When you’re speaking with your child, you might ask “Where are you going”. The answer might be “Out”.

Now, in this short exchange, there is potential for a lot of conflict, because there are multiple assumptions in the message. First, “Where are you going” is, at the surface, a question requesting information. However, if the receiver believes it is an interrogative, it will serve as a threat. As parents, we need to be very careful that our message is not framed in a way we do not desire.

How do you cope with your child’s stress? How do you help them to relieve their stress? As far as I know, stress management is still a very important skill that they need to learn, and to develop for their life. So far, I’ve seen most of the following mechanisms for coping with stress in schools:

1. playing the fool
2. distracting their friends
3. poking fun at other students who are studying
4. playing computer games
5. being alone
6. snapping at others and being bad tempered
7. blaming others
8. crying